wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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