apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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