I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
