I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My room smells like vodka and shame
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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