I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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