Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
