Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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