miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
