i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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