There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I currently don't understand fingers.
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