also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
