Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
