had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
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