I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
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It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
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The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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