You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
