He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You've changed since you got that strap on
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
