Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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