My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I have post one night stand depression
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