why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
