is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
