Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
