i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
