When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
