I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
