is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
