my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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