Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
