How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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