If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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