The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
