I'm jealous of your bromance
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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