My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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