Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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