U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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