She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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