Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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