i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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