why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
