it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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