But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
