so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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