Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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