The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
