what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize