I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
