I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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