the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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