these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
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