Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
she looked like the before picture.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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