D3 body, D1 cock
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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