Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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