Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
