If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize