my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
