The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I have fence marks all over my body
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
