If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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