I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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