there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
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She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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