Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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